Shorts
by togapika
Summary: The story where I will be posting all of my short Rayne pieces that aren't big enough to post on their own. 1. Shorts 2. Talkin' Words 3. Mad Hatter 4. Tiger 5. Black Eye
1. Shorts

It started with the shorts... the navy blue, tight-as-hell shorts that she wore when they worked out together and that he figured must have been the shortest in existence. The problem was that when Jayne started to notice her shorts, he also noticed that the shorts she would wear started to become shorter, tighter, and sexier every time.

He knew things were going to reach a boiling point sooner or later, but she still managed to surprise him when she grabbed his package.

At this, Jayne reacted the only way he knew how, and grabbed her ass. This caused her to tweak his nipple in retaliation, and before he could stop himself, he had reached over and pulled her in for a kiss.

When he finally pulled back to breathe after what could have been minutes or hours had passed, about to fall over from sheer feeling, she stared him down with those oh so intense eyes of hers, and a single word ghosted from her lips...

"Finally."


	2. Talkin' Words

Set during BDM. Conversation between Jayne and Simon.

"You need ta' tell her, Doc..."

"What?"

"Look I want to get outta here alive as much as everyone else, and maybe if Kaylee knows has somethin' to fight for it'll keep her from being so scared..."

Simon looked at him before nodding slightly.

"Thank you, Jayne."

As he walked away Jayne heard Simon muttering under his breath. "I wish someone could do the same sort of thing for me..."

At this Jayne turned and gritted his teeth before speaking.

"Oh, and Doc."

"Yes?"

"I've been datin' your sister for about four months, and I wanna marry her. I know this ain't the time, but I figure that once we make it out of here alive, you and me can have ourselves a talk."

Simon surveyed Jayne's facial expression, stance, and general demeanor, and merely nodded once he'd determined that he wasn't joking.

Although he didn't say it out loud, as Jayne walked away Simon whispered as much to make himself feel better as anything.

"Thank you, Jayne."


	3. Mad Hatter

Jayne Cobb couldn't sleep. Most people assumed that as a mercenary, he would have the ability to fall asleep anytime anywhere, but this was simply not the case. For Jayne, it was always about two things - sex or his cunning hat, sometimes both. Sex served as a relief-balm to tire him out, and when he couldn't have that - which was most of the time when he was bunking on the ship - his hat simply served as a reminder of home and his family's love.

But he had a problem that night, that being that his hat was missing. He started the search by checking every inch of his bunk. Finding nothing, he proceeded to stalk the ship, intent on retracing his steps. He needed to find it, so that he might be on his way to dreamland sometime that night. But after checking every place he had been that day - twice over, in a couple of cases - he was forced to admit defeat. He told himself that he'd just have to try to sleep without his hat for once, and to continue the search when he was more rested.

When he returned to his bunk, the door wasn't open, and so he had no reason to suspect anyone had entered. But Jayne hadn't seen the predator that had been stalking him with nefarious intent. As he dropped down his ladder and his eyes wandered to his bed, he noticed two things. First, his hat was suddenly on his bed. Second, said hat was being worn by the moonbrain, who was reclining in what would have normally been a most ordinary position except for one important difference.

She was naked.

"Now Jayne can have everything he needs to sleep well!" River chirped, grinning from ear to ear.

Jayne could offer only one reply.

"Gulp..." 


	4. Tiger

River was angry. Her methods hadn't produced the desired results, and she was getting frustrated. She had spent the day hanging around Jayne, flirting and being friendly and being cute. But he was doing absolutely _nothing_ in return, and she hated it.

As a last-ditch effort she invited him to sit with her on the ramp of the ship, watching the local crowds of Persephone. She then started to walk over to the nearby stalls where she started speaking to a somewhat attractive local boy. She assumed this would have the effect she wanted, but when she read Jayne it was not to be so. _Maybe Moony can at least find someone close to her level of smarts tah talk to,_ he was thinking. _But what I wouldn't give for that guy to be me right now..."_

At this she finally snapped and stalked over to Jayne and stared him down. "Stop this! The girl wants him to act correctly!"

"I ain't doin' nothin' -"

"Duh!"

"So why are yeh gettin' mad at me for?"

"Protects the things he holds dear,  
his guns, his family, things he keeps near,  
All things important in his world,  
why can't one be this girl?"

"What is it you're tryin' to say?"

"He must show his colors, roar and make his claim! The tiger must drive away all challengers!"

"So you want me tah' show people that I want you, and yer mine?"

"Correct! Jayne-man wins the prize." She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, and her smile brought a light to his face.

As she snuggled in closer to his chest, he struck a fierce scowl and eyed down any passerby who might be looking at her too close. But once he thought she was asleep allowed himself a moment of delight.

"Raawr," he muttered quietly.


	5. Black Eye

He had done it again. He had made yet another senseless comment, and she was so angry that she wanted nothing more than to leave him for good. Since she couldn't very well do that while Serenity was in space, she had to settle for throwing him out.

She had secretly hoped that this argument might end as so many of the others had ended, that they would eventually be able to forgive each other in, the throes of heated passion. But clearly that was not to be. That fact was creating a difficult problem for her; she didn't want to think about him, but as she started to try to put aside the anger she found that her body needed release. If only he he hadn't been such an idiot...!

But she shoved the vexing man out of her mind, and instead of thinking about him she let her mind wander a bit, to other possibilities. She began lazily drifting her hands over her body, stopping to caress her nipples with light touches as they slowly hardened. As her hands moved, her thoughts drifted to someone else. She smiled, thinking of a handsome man with large forearms and a well-muscled chest, a man unafraid of himself and comfortable in his own skin. She felt passion pool at her core as she imagined what it would be like for him to come to her, grab her and strip away all of her training and composure and make her feel like nothing more than a woman.

As she climaxed, she heard her door open. Somewhat worried about who might be walking in on her - it might have been him, coming back to apologize, but what if it wasn't - but before she could even see who it was, something struck her with a vicious punch to the face. Whoever struck her knew what they were doing; she fell back on the bed in her shock, feeling nothing but pain.

She couldn't even identify the person who'd attacked her. By the time she'd recovered, whoever it was had run out of the room.

---

"Gorramit, I'm the captain here, and as such I deserved to know why the hell you punched Inara and gave her a black eye!"

"Wasn't hers! Mine!"

"Sir, maybe you should let me talk to her privately."

"Fine, Zoe. You see what you can get out of her. I'll just... go an' take care of some captainy things."

"So what exactly happened? What is it you're saying that Inara did to you?"

"Stealing! Not hers!"

"I'm not following."

"Was mad at Captain Daddy and needed stress relief, and so she stole what was not hers!"

At this Zoe just stood and stared, puzzled. Then she heard River sniffle a little and whisper something that sounded like "my arm porn," and then everything clicked.

"You gave her a black eye because she was masturbating to thoughts of Jayne?"

"My arm porn!"

"...right." 


End file.
